A cult definitely lives here.

What’s up, friends?

Get your tin foil hats ready because today’s house has some conspiracy behind it… all concocted through evidence of your’s truly. 

I’m convinced a cult lives in this New Mexico home.

Built in in 2013, this 5-bed, 5-bath Albuquerque property has the space for some questionable activities…

I’m aware of the weight of the accusation I’m making - “I mean a cult? Really?!” You ask. 

“It’s not like cults have ever been known to be in New Mexico, right?”

(They have: one Google search will give you a whole list, articles, and documentaries.)

Upon arrival, this complex-looking home is seemingly quaint…

You walk through this simple pathway of greenery, flowing water, and a sinister underbelly…

This entrance living room s standard with its stone fireplace and wood-slatted ceiling. I just can’t get over that giant dog portrait… almost like it's the cult’s messiah… hmm…

If we have a 10-chair dining table, why do we need a secondary 6-chair dining table that’s next to a 12-chair breakfast bar?

Wood finishes on the kitchen pair great with the dark countertops. The oven, exhaust fan, and skylight all have horizontal tile work to accent the space -but I think the skylight would act as a better funnel for the smoke that comes from burning offerings to the cult gods.  

A secondary living room serves as a gathering space -perfect for movie night, staring at the red strip above the TV, or demonic rituals.

Speaking of rituals… anyone want to take a blood oath?

I’m truly at a loss for words…

WHAT IS THIS? The fractured paneled mirror with the granite bowl and ornate flooring… makes me uneasy, to say the least.

Silver on a bedframe screams money -something that a cult leader pawns off their followers. Regardless, the royal touches do feel out of place from the rest of the natural aesthetic. 

In the en-suite bathroom, mirrors wrap around the circular room to make the bathtub a centerpiece. I’m not sure what that could entail… but it probably involves multiple people.

Speaking of multiple people -this shower was built for that exact purpose, I think. It’s 360 degrees of showerheads, skylights, and intricate tiling.

And there are two doors! For a singular shower stall! What is going on in there?!

With the secondary bedrooms and bathrooms, they all feel very run-of-the-mill, but elevated. 

Are these rooms too basic? No, they have nice things in them. Are these rooms identical? No, but they’re very similar. 

And does that similarity point itself to the sameness that members of a cult have? Absolutely. 

If further evidence (that something is off) is needed, see the SO MANY washing machines, despite the perfectly average amount of bedrooms in this home.

How many bodies are staying in each bed that make multiple washing units necessary?

In typical desert-living fashion, outside, there’s a grand ole pool:

This pool deck is unlike most: it’s spacious, and has ample covered and uncovered sitting area. Plus, there’s a pizza oven, grill, fireplace, and access to the rooftop.

Atop the home, and around it, the outside area has nice greenery to complement the clay reds of the structural brickwork.

It’s always funny to see trees planted in a bed of rocks. To me, it’s the perfect omen for something being a bit off about this place.

Yeah, maybe it just seems like a big family lives there right now… but that doesn’t mean other group activities can’t be ongoing simultaneously…

Sarah @Hometastrophes