Florida Beach House has monkeys at the bar and fish on the floor.

What’s up, friends?

As we steadily approach summer, I want to help you prepare for the season. By that, I mean I’ll show you some unique summer homes… that you can avoid at your own risk.

Built in 1995, this 5 bed, 3 bath property has the exterior symmetry of an apartment complex, and an antique quality of double its age. Basically, even prior to peaking at the interior, I find the story of this house confusing. 

Right as you enter, and note how the carpet (tile) matches the drapes (cabinetry), you know you’re in for something unique. 

Sweeping through as a divider, the glass block counter cements the age of this home. All of this red and black is giving “kitchen of an F1 driver”.

Standing in the room, I imagine the hanging sculpture is a nice accent to the panoramic windows of the dining area. But in the photo above, it looks like a bridge fragment is suspended in time, before it crashes into the table. 

Fish on the floor? Oh yeah. Around the oceanic carpet, circular home features compliment that concept: the fan blades, a hole in the wall, and the spiral staircase in the living room.

Plus, nearby are further extensions of the space: another living space and a balcony, set with more comfy chairs to relax in.

This primary bedroom truly encapsulates a primary aspect of the ocean: a wide open space. While I do find the additional, attached living space a bit excessive, the various natural light sources make this space slightly captivating.

Want to be truly captivated? Check out this en-suite! With a glass block wall, zerba stripe rug… and a red bathtub? Nevermind.

Secondary bedrooms of this home include decor such as: clouds printed on the ceiling, a mermaid wall panel, seahorse blinds, and an entire pool table. 

Their bathrooms are just as special -and at least they match the theme of their respective bedroom.

Before we head outside, I did want to highlight the atrocious storage areas found behind the closed doors of this home:

Located on a small strip of land in Northern Florida, the beach views are 360 degrees.

As you descend the back porch and approach your bar… you’re greeted by a mural of realistic monkeys. And I’m so flabbergasted at this decision that I don’t even know what to say. 

I do know what to say about these palm trees: I love how clear it is that they are not naturally on the shore of the ocean. The previous owners really wanted that topical feeling in every inch of their residence… I guess.

Is the theming of this home genuine? Unsure. Is it a bit campy? Not intentionally. But, when you stand on the dock, does it look at your own little slice of paradise? Absolutely.

Sarah @Homes.tastrophes

Don’t let a surprise vet bill torpedo your budget

Routine vet checkups are rising, and some surgeries can cost as much as a holiday in Europe. Fortunately, pet insurance can help offset these unexpected costs. With some policies starting at $10 and reimbursing up to 90%, you can keep your pet healthy without sacrificing your savings.

PROTECT YOUR PET AND WALLET

The best sheets you’ve been dreaming about

Quince believes that quality should never be a luxury. Crafted from 100% viscose bamboo, this best-selling bedding is lightweight, silky-soft, and perfect for your next bedroom refresh. All at a price that doesn’t break the bank.

Experience the bedding everyone is talking about with the Bamboo Collection.

SHOP NOW