Modern Asylum Living

What’s up, friends?

Don't let the symmetry fool you. While today’s house might seem prim and proper, the vibes are kooky. 

Or at least enough to drive a person mad.

Built in 1938, this 6-bed, 3-bath Washington-based home was recently renovated from its church origins. From the dark exterior, large circular window, and faux-looking rock and shrubbery, there is evidently something up with this property.

Behind the iron front door, this hallway sends me BLARING warning signs. Lined with horizontal white wood stripes, the long white hallway makes me think I’ve entered a historic psych ward.

In my humble opinion, this space screams “not homey”. I understand the aesthetic of sleek, clean, and simple, but all I feel is disillusioned, dirty, and on edge.

Let me have a moment with this ceiling:

• I feel like someone slapped a barnyard roof on top of this room.

• Am I in a department store? Because why is there an unfinished ceiling with NO fan or ductwork?!

• Imagine the spiderwebs that could form up there. 

Look! A random splash of brickwork in the kitchen! It’s pretty, but -with it existing by itself- it feels like a last-ditch effort in adding some personality.

Honestly, I don’t have much to say about the primary bedroom and en-suite. It’s all very (as the kids say) mid. It works, it does its job, it has a pop of color from the rug. And although you never want to say you “saw stars” while in the bathroom, it’s inevitable with this one.

Here’s the home’s pièce de résistance: a contemporary laundry room where the new features blend into the sleek design, but also properly add pops of color to liven the space. (TLDR: I really like this room.)

Also, can we please take a quick moment of appreciation for the antique furniture in the home office:

Down in the basement, the cozy feeling of a living room finally comes to be:

Despite the fact that the walls are still white, mostly bare, vaguely beige, not colorful… wait, that’s it. And although the wood ceiling beams are gone, now it feels like a claustrophobic white box; It’s still very asylum.

There is a subtle theme I am sensing: basic color matching. 

One bedroom leans into the greys, one is very white, and one is wood brown. Providing an entire bed-sized couch in a bedroom is quite a choice! And putting barely visible white art on a white wall is definitely a choice as well!

Though, these other basement amenities lean back into the style we’ve seen upstairs.

Besides the front yard, this home only has a small sliver of grass along its side. With that said, it does the most with what it has…

Oh, and the giant concrete slab in the back. Maybe this used to be a mini parking lot?

Regardless of what this home is or was, there is no denying that its large yellow-leaved tree beautifully contrasts with its large black roof. And once those leaves fall from the branches, it’s just going to be an ominous rectangle with many secrets inside.

See you next week,

Sarah @Homes.tastrophes