Oh deer...

What’s up, friends?

Before ”spooky season” begins, I've decided to close out September with a home that’s not scary, but is a bit eyebrow-raising. Sitting on over 358 acres, today’s spectacle isn’t exactly en-deer-ing… 

Located outside of Charleston, South Carolina, this 3-bed, 2-bath, property boasts about 200 Whitetail Deer, and more land than some small amusement parks. Titled the Tall Pines Preserve, this slice of land sits at a price tag of $5.5 million.

Oh… that’s a lot of deer. Besides the obvious, I would like to point out the ram (on the left) and the horned goats (on the right) to highlight the wide range of animals in the area.

If these owners are “gathering” their own animals for wall decor, I would imagine they’re using every part of the animal. That would potentially mean the taxidermied animal is overlooking being eaten. I’m no vegan, but something about that doesn’t sit right with me. 

And while you sleep, your deers can watch over you -though, I don’t think they’d be protectively watching you. They’d probably be upset that you killed them, then hung their stuffed corpse up on the wall.

Regardless, this bedroom being the “primary” one (which I guessed based on the decor) is peculiar, given that I’d had very little natural light. Maybe it was chosen for its proximity to the living room.

Bathrooms spare no contemporary finishings in this home. Although the rest of the property looks a bit dated, these showers, luckily, look recently installed.

Now, I’m no feng shui but the layout of these rooms aren’t helping the (already bad) placement of the furniture. The upstairs bedroom has a trapezoidal ceiling -thanks to the roof- and an odd nook created by the stairway railing. On the main floor, the room’s primary fault is the position of the bed… blocking a window? If you’re in the woods and want to save money on your electricity bill, why would you cover up one of your few natural light resources? 

Before we head to the place of outdoor relaxation (the backyard), let’s view the work you ought to do, just outside your property.

You come past your fences of various materials…

Through the woods of various trees…

Where you come to a long clear in the brush: a trim grass path with an open view…

There’s an elevated booth, overlooking that field…

It all makes sense now: this is a deer shooting range. 

To be more specific, the land of this property is an “intensely managed wildlife sanctuary,” with strict and consisent diets for all of the livestock -that are also setup to be shot? I’m confused.

On your way back to your house, we can stop by the grain silo. And say “hi” to your on-site manager’s residence, with a 3-bed, 2-bath layout of its own.

Tired of prancing across your property? Let’s relax in the backyard:

Against the fence is a pen for wildlife like wild turkeys, chickens, or even a small horse!

Swim away from the sadness that you missed a few deer down at the range! This multi level, in-ground pool feels out of place, considering that it’s in the middle of nowhere. 

I, for one, am not really into hunting livestock. That’s why I buy pre-killed meat from the grocery store. But, I guess when you live in the middle of nowhere, the motto of “hunt or be hunted” is STILL weird because UberEats exists everywhere!!

Sarah @Homes.tastrophes