Small Town or Huge Mansion?

What’s up, friends?

On the block, you spot this larger Spanish style home. You can’t see the inside, but you imagine a quaint-yet-expressive home with an eye for detail and culture.

Well, I can guarantee you that this is not that kind of house.

Currently on the market for over $19 million, this Arizona home boasts over 16 thousand sq. feet, 11 bathrooms… and only 3 bedrooms. With the amenities of a small village, you would assume that this home maybe exists in a secluded area of the Arizona desert. Instead, it’s actually in a well-populated area’s gated community.

Of all things, this property is a tremendous work of confusion and contradiction.

You’re putting together a kitchen. How high should the ceilings be? How about the size of the island? The amount of barstools on the island?

Were you picturing vaulted ceilings, three ginormous islands, and 6 stools? 

If your answer was “no,” start thinking that way to prepare yourself for what’s to come.

Just off -both ends- of the kitchen area are living spaces… with big sofas and even bigger TVs. 

I’m truly gobsmacked at how egregious this home is.

From this angle, the dining area looks both historical and futuristic; There’s the lights on chains with a rock-arch door frame, but also a wide (wheelchair accessible) glass elevator. 

A closer look at the staircase shows us that Spanish design the house is “trying” to capture. Each step having its own mosaic tiling is unique, but I feel like it’s all drowned out by the never ending square-footage around it.

These beautiful patterned stairs lead us to another patterned space: a large room with a patterned floor. Above the empty floor are these cool ceiling gaps with interior lighting. They set the mood nicely for the fantastic view of the entire estate.

And since the current owners don’t have a plan for this space… I’m going to pitch some:

• Hair salon - You don’t want hair clippings in your bathroom!

• Daycare - Drop your friend’s kids off and go explore the resort -I mean house.

• Another Living Space - I think the Kitchen needs a tertiary couch-and-TV combo nearby

Down more of the tiled stairs is the lower level that contains: a wine cellar, golf simulator, pool table, arcade games -one second. I need to take a breath before I keep listing things.

…a sauna, bathroom, walk-in vault, storage space, and a shooting range. Because… of course there is.

Here’s a master bedroom that is flooded with natural light, space, and a hint of simplicity -which is odd considering the secondary bedrooms (you’ll see in a bit).

Presenting: the en-suite to end all en-suites. All I can think of is a luxury spa! The open concept shower! The ceiling arches! The walk-in closet with built-in storage! It’s like a dream.

As promised, here are a few highlights of the other bedrooms, their slight theming, and a bit more grandiose:

Sorry, I forgot to mention a few very (structurally) large parts of this home.

Like the three-body pool. 

Or the entire airplane hangar.

Or the volleyball court -not to be confused with the tennis court. Or the putting green.

That doesn’t even begin to cover all of the common spaces with seating and fire pits spread all across the area. It’s truly insane. 

Lets wrap with up with some (truly gorgeous) aerial shots of this complex:

It’s clear that someone built this property for the sake of having Great Gatsby-like parties. And I guess I didn’t know those were still around because I’m never invited to them. Oh well…

See you next week,

Sarah @Homes.tastrophes